The black sign nailed to the telephone pole instructs: FOLLOW THE HAPPYS.
At the corner store I buy a fizzy cold soda so I can swallow the happys.
The summer we slink home to my tiny room near the White Sox stadium,
giggling over fried rice at 3 in the morning, Chicago the happys.
Back when my foot slipped on wet rock and I hit the water,
laughed despite the burning in my nostrils: sheer bravado, the happys.
My friend studies the spines on my bookshelf while I tuck the blankets
around our legs. I brew tea. She asks: Can I borrow the happys?
My first concert was the San Antonio rodeo. Ask me how to lasso forgiveness.
Whether I regret the things we said on that couch. Deep and desperado happys.
The brunch place we keep forgetting to dine at is called El Mil Amores.
A thousand loves. Hashbrowns, chilaquiles, orange juice and avocado happys.
Outside of the bar, I watched them gently pass the cigarette. Is it selfish
that I wanted to be shared? I coughed; they turned. Marlboro, the happys.
I change the pronouns and tenses in my poems. They’re not meant to be diaries.
The truth stampedes through them anyways––buffalo the happys.
Every phone call I begged for you to believe in another horizon.
I bartered our present for the future. Tomorrow, the happys.
I stare at my name in your handwriting. Dear Katie. How to tame
this creature in me, when you aren’t here: hollow the happys.
