It was a dark drive into the woods. The two girls were a little tipsy, a little unphased. The driver looked at them through his rear-view mirror with a father-like fondness. They were talking about men, what they would do if. And would they rather than. Well obviously, said the older girl. But what about in an elevator. But what about on the sidewalk. I’d feel bad for him if it was hot out, the younger said. And the zoo? said the older. The driver said nothing, hid a smile. Turned the wheel with a twist in the road. Silence. Then, what if you were peeing in the woods, the younger said. What about taking a shit in the woods. They laughed. I think about that a lot, said the younger. How to be disgusting. Me too, the older said. Maybe I’ll try shitting next time. They laughed. They went deeper into the woods. Something stood in the road. Very still. Dark at first, then whited by the headlights. The driver swerved so gently, the girls didn’t even notice it was there. He knew what he was doing. He had driven this road many times before. The girls hadn’t, they weren’t from here. He could tell. You can shit on command? said the younger, still laughing. I could shit right now if I had to, the older said. This time, when the driver looked in the rear-view mirror, she was staring back at him.