- Money is one of those things you can’t unsee.
- I grew up around money. Mr. Moviephone money. Son of Dennis Hopper money. Executive Producer money. Editor of Braveheart money. Neurosurgeon money. House in the hills money. Daughter of the guy who invented Power Rangers money.
- I shared a room with my parents until I was eight. No money.
- Later, we didn’t pay rent because we lived where we worked. Some money.
- I climbed the rickety bureaucratic ladder for nearly a decade. Taxpayer money.
- I quit my secure government job to be a writer. Monopoly money.
- In the Soviet Union where I was born, money was obsolete.
- Monthly rent for a one-bedroom government-issued apartment in Soviet Belarus was eighteen rubles.
- Monthly rent for a one-bedroom in present-day Los Angeles is too much.
- My Ashkenazi ancestors used cows as currency.
- I wonder how many cows I am worth.
- In Ancient Greece money was considered the fifth element, after air, water, fire, earth.
- In North America deer skin used to be money. That’s why we still call it a ‘buck.’
- In Africa shells were money.
- In Fiji it was whale teeth.
- Buffaloes in Borneo.
- Reindeer in Siberia.
- Salt in the Sahara.
- Almonds in India.
- Corn in Guatemala.
- The ancient civilization of Lydia invented money but collapsed with greed.
- You can get a free bag of shredded money at The Money Museum at the Federal Reserve Bank in Kansas City.
- It was the ancient Greeks that assigned money to labor.
- Babysitting child stars. Spraying mannequins at Hollister. Folding jeans at PacSun. Letting old ladies use my head as a support beam at a shoe store. Stuffing gift bags at PR internships. Editing factsheets for the government. Writing articles for magazines.
- My immigrant parents almost invested in adult day cares centers. My immigrant parents almost invested in a pawn shop business. My immigrant parents almost invested in a fourplex.
- But instead, they got chronically ill and had to invest in themselves.
- I’ve read that people on their death bed never wish for more money, just time.
- A European pirate ship once mistook precious Aztec cacao beans for rabbit pellets and dumped them into the sea.
- The other night I had a dream that I was in a big fancy house. I turned the stove on to make a pot of tea and left it there to boil. While I roamed around the house looking at all the money, I realized that I had forgotten about the teapot and had started a small fire.
- To impress me, a guy once set a $20 bill on fire with a gas station lighter outside a bar in downtown Los Angeles. But all I could see through the blue of the flame was a cluster of tents on the sidewalk across the street.
- The Ancient Mayans used to cover themselves in gold powder and swim in the river as an offering to the gods. The Spaniards named one of the chiefs El Dorado, the Golden One.
- They say gold is the most malleable metal.
- My parents keep telling me to invest in gold bars. They say it’s a sure thing.
