Hey. It’s me. I know we don’t talk but Mom wanted me to tell you that Grandma’s in the hospital and she’s been asking for you. She misses you a lot and she wants you to know you’re always forgiven. You know. Even though you haven’t seen her in six years. But no, no. She only ever asks for you. Not me, not cousin Lily, not even Mom. No, she only wants to see you and your stupid face. Even though I was the one who brought her groceries every week, and I was the one who fixed her TV, and I was the one who dealt with all the issues with the super. Nah, no. She loved you more than any of the rest of us. She always said that you were more delicate and needed to be protected. And now look at you, you sack of shit and you’re such a lost cause and fuck! This is really not the voicemail I had meant to leave.

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Grandma’s in the hospital, and she’s asking for you. Only God knows why, after you showed up drunk at cousin Lily’s wedding smelling like a strip club bathroom. I can’t believe she forgave you after that one. Or after that time you stole all her jewelry. You fuckin’ asshole. Gold passed down through generations just to vanish up your nose. I should have strangled you then.

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Hey. It’s me. Mom wants you to know that Grandma’s in the hospital and she wants to see you. It’ll break Mom’s heart if you show up high again, so please, please, just try to be sober for the whole weekend. It can’t be that hard, can it?

Who am I kidding. I know. I know, I know. Everything has been hard. But you never made it easy for us to help. You always made it impossible to protect you. Sometimes, I think it’s all my fault. Like, I should have looked out for you more, or I should have done something, I don’t know. But, despite all your, all your stuff, you were always doing so well in school. I was proud of you.

Sorry, that’s a lie. I was jealous.

When you got into college— I thought Dad was proud of me when I graduated, but when you got into college, that’s where I learned what Dad’s voice sounds like when he’s actually proud. And he was still proud of you, even after you dropped out. And Mom, Mom was so gentle with you; she kept saying that you just needed to rest. But when I saw you, staring into the ceiling having not eaten for days, I just looked at you and thought you were making it all up. I thought my little brother was some weakass little snowflake. Maybe I shouldn’t have— maybe I should have been gentler with you. Maybe this is my fault.

Who am I fucking kidding? I’m not the one who gave you a pill addiction. I’m not the one the EMTs found passed out under a highway overpass. Get over yourself, you fucking pussy. Grandma wants to see you.

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If you are satisfied with your—

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Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you.

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If you are satisfied —

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Hey, it’s me. I’m just calling to let you know that Grandma is in the hospital and she wants to see you. It’s really, really important to her. If you need help with transportation, just let me know.