but I'm so happy 

we managed to connect

earlier. It's hard

to reach anyone

lately. Nothing but

mysteries these days,

 

as Jorie says. Today,

trying to be 10% happier,

I disconnected

from tech, filtered the hard

water, inhaled one

two three four five but

 

forgot to touch grass (but

sat on a green tarp on this 14th day

of encampment). Is happy

the goal? Is connection

at the end of struggle? Hard

to imagine everyone's

 

fight reduced into one

ultimate pursuit (happiness?)—but

we're supposed to focus on today,

so let's do it. Let's be happy!

Catch that connecting

flight to Hawai`i. Hard

 

to know what to make of this place. Harder

still to say whether anyone

deserves their palm trees but

I know no one deserves to be brutally killed today.

Sorry. This was supposed to be a happy

message. I wanted to reconnect

 

but my connection.

Is unstable. And it's getting harder

to understand. At the encampment earlier, one

face swam into view, but

it took me a moment to say:

Josh! I was happy

 

to see a friend. I'm happiest

when I remember that almost everything

will continue without me. But it's hard to.