He would still have all his teeth. He would still shave his stubble daily even though he doesn’t need to. He would have invited his friends over to watch Yankees games as a kid while his mother prepared platters upon platters of food for them to devour between palmed cans of beer. He would still use the phrase “When I was a kid,” but I could recklessly roll my eyes at the phrase. He would be a Wine Guy. He would have at some point found mindfulness, and, whenever I visit, he would insist we meditate while he plays that one Enya playlist on his brand-new surround-sound speaker system and would fall asleep ten minutes in. He would be really into Enya. He would have a Bachelor’s degree in business. Or maybe sports medicine. He would still not have been a good little league coach. I would still be too soft for him to handle without bruising in some way. He would argue with my mother over whose family to spend which holiday with and their voices would never leave the room they were arguing in. He would have more than two pictures of his parents. He would be as open about his feelings as he is about his medical issues. He would not have as many feelings about Big Vitamin. He would still have a too-long and-too convoluted theory for explaining John F. Kennedy’s assassination. He would have looked out into the stands at every single baseball and basketball and football game and seen at least one person cheering for him, specifically. He would still have bought me more Pokémon cards than any one person deserves in a lifetime. He would own the largest collection of Matchbox cars in the tri-state area but he would not let anyone else touch them. He would still have driven 300 miles so I did not have to celebrate my first birthday after moving out alone. He would know the names and ages of all his nieces and nephews. He would have grown up knowing the name of his mother’s neighborhood instead of learning it through the internet, decades after she died. He would still use the phrase “When I was a kid,” and I would be excited to hear how the sentence ends.