Veronica is obsessed with this TikTok of a girl pretending to be both God and an angel. She makes me watch it five six seven times a lunch period. In the video, the girl wears a beard made of napkins when she pretends to be God. Veronica and I tried to recreate the TikTok girl’s napkin beard with the school lunchroom napkins but they are too small and too cheap. In the video, the girl playing God asks the girl playing the angel, who’s the same girl as God just without the napkin beard, if she, the angel, did what she, God, asked. Did she give the dinosaurs more muscle? This is the part where Veronica really gets going. I mean, I’ve seen her shoot bits of carrot stick out of her nose at the angel girl’s horrified face. She, the girl-angel, thought the napkin-faced girl-God wanted her to make the dinosaurs a meteor. This is the part where Veronica yells, A METEOR. Now God-girl looks horrified. She wanted the dinosaurs to be meatier, for them to have more muscly meat. This is the part where Veronica truly loses her shit. I mean, she’s not even laughing anymore. Her shoulders shake and her mouth is this giant open hole. I can count her five six seven fillings. She makes this half clicking, half gagging sound and little tears squeeze out of her eyes. Veronica says she doesn't believe in God. I'm not sure if I do or not, but I like the idea of something bigger than me. Something really huge that created the universe and meteors and dinosaurs and people and carrot sticks. I mean, there must be something out there or else how do you explain our dumb human brains creating language so complex that there are words that sound the same but mean something different. Like meteor meatier. Like when I tell Veronica “I love you” and she says “I love you” back. In the video, the bearded God-girl and the smooth-faced angel-girl go back and forth—meteor meatier meteor meatier—getting more and more wide-eyed horrified with each word until the little black TikTok creator screen pops up, and Veronica takes a giant fucking breath and looks at me all wide-eyed, and I look back five six seven beats too long, and then the whole thing starts itself again.
