There’s a lot I’ll let slide for a girl with them e-girl lips.

I remember this as I message this white girl I got set up for a blind date with and I tell her my fam’s from El Salvador and she says that’s really cool and how she can take me to this pupusa joint that has “real” pupusas and it turns out I’ve been eating that fake shit and this white girl knows that real shit but I let it slide because there’s a lot I’ll let slide for a girl with them e-girl lips.

So we head to that pupusa joint and I walk in and I can’t help but think that this looks like every other pupusa joint I’ve been to but then we walk up to the counter to order and the guy asks me for my order and I think he means like chicharron y queso or solo queso or frijol y queso but then when I say queso he’s like

That’s not what I mean.

So I ask what he means. 

And he says

This is a human pupusa joint. We got drug dealer or gangbanger.

And I go

Where the fuck am I?

And he laughs. And the girl with them e-girl lips laughs too. 

And he goes

Why do you think El Salvador is so crime free all of a sudden? And why do you think you can go back to El Salvador without getting stabbed all of a sudden. And what do you think President Bukele does with all the prisoners in his prison? What, you think he cares about them prisoners all of a sudden?

And then he laughs like I’m an idiot. And the girl with them e-girl lips laughs too. 

And then he goes

So what will you have?

And I go

Gangbanger, I guess.

Because I don’t want to embarrass myself any further. 

So we take our pupusas back to a table and I don’t hesitate in digging in even though I’m grossed the fuck out because I don’t want to embarrass myself any further so I bite into the pupusa, into the tortilla y queso y gangbanger flesh and I think about how the only reason I’m going back to El Salvador in a month is because it’s safe again because President Bukele locked away two percent of the population in his prison and now I’m eating that population and I like that I get to go back and I feel guilty that I get to go back and I feel guilty that the gangbanger flesh in this human pupusa tastes fucking delicious. 

Then my date with them e-girl lips says

We should do this again some time.

And I go

Yeah.

Because yeah, there’s a lot I’ll let slide for a girl with them e-girl lips, I know that about myself. But no more blind dates at human pupusa joints? Yeah, I guess that makes me a liar too.