the oldest story is richard gere in east hampton

& allen ginsberg ruining my marriage

in 1983

i was pronounced dead for several minutes

thinking of all the emails being sent

that i knew nothing abt

finally seeing what any nice girl wants:

testicles

apartment paid for

invasive species in the mystic river

in that order

(“ is that all there is ??? ”)

the slovenly gallerist chanting less is more

looks up at the big map of texas

failing to heed the age-old adage

that bald is better than bald-ing

remind me not to disappoint u

janelle monáe

the original supervillain

eminently-fuckable julien

red for the judges / black for the priests

we could for instance

change outcomes w. words

he writes down then crosses out

(“ who cleans on a monday ??? ”)

stupid hot

like ur from another decade

walked off the set of wayne’s world

underwear sorta crusty

baby pissy bully sassy

the only sadder job than poet laureate

is former poet laureate

hell if i know

the ballcap says kinda nasally

why don’t u google it

hang on ur prob a bing guy

before they discovered manscaping

i would bury my face in it