We did Teacher / Student. We did Flight Attendant / Pilot. We did Butcher / Customer. We did Butcher / Butcher. We did Butcher Pretends Customer is Other Butcher.

Salami Surprise. Whip Cream Dream. Ice Cube Cowgirl Finds Her Magic Bean.

We did it like dogs. We did it like boys. We did it how the therapist said to, in the morning, before we got tired. We did I Love You. We did I Really, Really, Love You. We did I Hate You, and Let’s Make Up, and our fav, I’ll Never Forgive You For What You Did.

We pretended the neighbors were watching. We pretended the president was watching. Negatively charged magnets. An engine and a transmission. The two wire hangers left in the closet after moving out of the loft.

We did foot stuff. Leash stuff. I’m-Woody-Allen-You’re-Soon-Yi-Previn-stuff. Coast Guard Saves Drowning Girl. Firewoman Saves Man Crushed By Car. These were the easiest from a performance standpoint–– situations in which one of us needed desperately to be saved.

All of the standard positions, but while wearing straw hats.

Two cannibals. Two hungry-but-nice cannibals. Two hungry-but-reformed cannibals who seek penance for what they’ve done. An old couple ready to die.

Different kinds of dirty talk. “Yes, Baby, yes,” and “No, Baby, not now.”

We pretended we were young. We pretended we were trees. We pretended we were trees watching two passing trains, charging towards opposite destinations.

We were the trains. WAIT, we shout at the conductors, but we’re moving too fast to slow down.