before I find myself,
alone at the party
alone at the grocery store
alone at the restaurant table
party of one party of someone
waiting for me at home but
that someone is the email
finding me naked after a shower
and not in that sexy way you
might find me after a shower
in that not sexy way
where my body is still too wet
for my clothes and I must
fight physics to encase myself
like a sausage into a sweat suit
that will hold me for a moment
but not the way the email does
when it finds me even more
broken in front of a mirror
doing things that will bring judgement
from everyone but of course
not the email, who wants only
to find me shivering in a forest
crouching over the body
of a recently decapitated lover
the email wants me to know
it will be alright, that it will be
more than alright
that eventually I will
stop running and tell
the email all that it wanted
to know that yes,
I am well and yes
per my last email
I am still breathing.