is a friend donning a lab coat because of a character
in a show. Is another friend pressing play on the pilot,
hushing you while Gillian Anderson autopsies
an alien’s corpse. Is watching bad TV for Gillian
Anderson because, let’s be honest, it’s kind of bad TV.
The two FBI agents always drive through the rain.
The government always destroys the evidence, the monster
of the week always escapes, and they don’t even kiss
until season seven. Mulder wants to believe in extraterrestrial
life and Scully wants to believe in Mulder’s conviction.
And you, you want to believe in the conviction
of stories. That the episode ends, the credits roll,
and you will stop thinking about Dana Scully.
How in the pilot she touches the mark above her hip, afraid—
how you, afraid, can’t forget the desires that mark you.