You all tell your wives the same thing.

“Go stay with your sister upstate. Till this blows over.”

Here’s the problem, buckaroos. Those villains chasing you? They can Google. The Toluca Strangler found us on Facebook. The Nephilim Motorcycle Club used an atlas. The Pithole Police read your texts.     

How can we protect your wives? Sister veins bleed. Sister bones crack. Sister skin punctures.

To you, we’re time bought. The dramatic pause before you whisk her to safety while our corpses grow cold.

“Go stay with your sister upstate.”

Your words are our curse.

Well, we’re fed up.

We’re coming for you.

Why don’t you go stay with your sister upstate?