You should have received a notice in the mail about your car’s extended warranty eligibility. We definitely sent it, what did you do with it? You probably lost it. You’ve lost so many things by now, some things you really loved. Like whatever happened to your copy of Timequake? Or the DVD of The Jerk you got back in college? Or remember when you were t-boned on your way to work and your car was totaled and you didn’t get that Arcade Fire CD out of the player before it went to the scrapyard? Not that you even have a way to listen to CDs now, cars don’t even have CD players anymore. Still, wouldn’t it have been nice to get it back?

No, not all of these examples are about you specifically. We’re allowed to take some creative license to make a point. Who doesn’t have things they’ve misplaced, we’re saying, who hasn’t lost some CDs along the way.

Of course not all the things you’ve lost are so tangible. Remember that youthful invincibility, that feeling you barely noticed until it started to fade and all of a sudden you were at an age when you realized that mortality means you, too. This time we do mean you specifically. We know you have those sleepless nights spent wondering what if, what if, what if. All that wondering sure piles up, doesn’t it?

What chance does an envelope have when you’ve already lost so much is all we’re saying. Don’t worry about it, though, our operators are standing by. We’re here to help, and don’t you need all the help you can get? To speak to a warranty specialist about extending or reinstating your vehicle’s warranty, press one. To be removed from our call list, press—